Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Reviewed
Tue. 6/27/17
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
3.25
Acting
3
3/5
Morality
3.5
3.5/5
Music
3
3/5
Story
3
3/5
Visuals
4.5
4.5/5
Kernel Factor
2.5
2.5/5
Feels like we've saved the pirate world before. We have. 5 times now
Reviewed By: Steven Siwek
Viewing Environment:
Theater
Viewing Crew:
Myself
Times Watched:
2
Genre:
Adventure
Payment Method:
Regular Ticket
Review:

The Pirates are back (again x5). This movie is entertaining, so don't get me wrong, but there are moments in this film where I was like, "I'm pretty sure I've seen this scene before." It feels very repetitive to the other films. I would also say that in this specific installment the characters are trying to solve way too many problems (both interpersonally and collectively), and, of course, they are successful in every single one of those endeavors. The perfectly tied bow at the end of this movie annoyed me. It annoyed me more because with the entire pirate-universe solved, Johnny Depp sails off to his next adventure, telling us essentially there will be yet another Pirates film. I complain, yet I'll probably still see the next one because of all the money they drop on these things. From a filming standpoint, it's incredible. I definitely liked watching it, and I'll never forget how much I loved the original Pirates, but this is a series that needs to be a buried treasure before it rots away. I think this film is worth watching, but there are so many other movies this Summer (2017) that it's hard to put it on your priority list when you watch movies occasionally.

**I saw this movie again on March 23, 2018 and I stand by everything I already said, including my scores. I would simply reiterate something I said above, "they are trying to solve way too many problems". They threw everything they could into this movie - I feel like I could've saved them $5-10M on this budget simply because there is so much excess throughout the film. 

Acting
Johnny Depp, oh Johnny. If you like watching a drunk pirate, like you have four other times, then go for it. But for me, his acting went from being super unique to blah. Meanwhile, Geoffrey Rush, seems to constantly reinvent himself and develop his character. I would say the same for the two leads - Kaya Scodelario and Brenton Thwaites - in spite of the cheese dynamic sometimes floating between them. 
Morality
We're dealing with dead men and lots of violence so this could definitely be scary for kids. Overall, however, the themes of fatherhood (those have been prominent this year in film), love, and good vs. evil (I think) are positives.
Music
It feels very redone. Much like the story feels indistinguishable from previous installments, the music feels like I've heard it all before. It's huge and great, but it reminds you of watching the previous films.
Story
This movie is a total deja vu for me. I feel swindled. They gave it a different "cool" name, which one of the characters ironically said "dead men tell no tales" just before the movie title was revealed (please note: don't ever say your movie name when you make a movie). The story is way too Disney-esque as it comes to a close.
Visuals
I would have LOVED to be on set to see this whole thing in action. The scenery is beautiful. It sometimes feels a little theme-park-esque, like they were actually at Disneyland, but overall set design, CGI, hair/makeup, costumes, and cameras were all on point. 
Kernel Factor
Captain Jack survives, yet again. And of course, as he sails off, he whips out his compass which is calling him to his next destination. I thought we just released all the curses of the Sea? How is there more to solve? Why does this continue? Follow the $$.

Check out the recently popped reviews